To Survive
by hot chocolate mess
Summary: To thrive with someone is one of the best feelings in the world, but to thrive without someone is like holding on to a meager thread of lies that you tell yourself everyday to stay awake, to stay alive. Full paragraph inside. Slightly AU.
1. To Survive

Hope you enjoy. This is for AliceSpeak's Word/Phrase of the day.

The phrase is 'thrive'.

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To thrive with someone is one of the best feelings in the world, but to thrive without someone is like holding on to a meager thread of lies that you tell yourself everyday to stay awake, to stay alive. Better yet why would you stay awake when your love or that other someone is in your reach when you close your dainty little eyes?

Hasn't life always been unfair to you? You think, of course it has but hasn't stopped be from living. So, you are telling me that you could leave with yourself, having your best friends split up probably never to see each other again. You were locked in Azkaban for something you did not do. I was the secret keeper or everyone thought that anyway, instead it was….. Of course it was your dear friend Peter Pettigrew.

Harry Potter, your grandson did not know you were his godfather until you broke out. Your closet friends died, disappeared or went to the dark side. Still that feeling to survive and thrive in this despair made you almost mad. Why did Merlin do this to you, how could anyone be so cruel. Of course, you could be cruel, but we won't say anything.

Now rest your eyes and close your mind, this is an illusion that will not only harm you but make you see the truth of this sad matter. How else would you be able to thrive, to survive?

"We do not live to think, but, on the contrary, we think in order that we may succeed in **surviving**."

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The qoute here at the bottom was said by Jose Ortega y Gasset, a Spanish philosopher and humanist.

"We do not live to think, but, on the contrary, we think in order that we may succeed in **surviving**."

Hope you all liked it.


	2. True Treasure

Hope you all enjoy this.

This is for two challenges:

DramioneLurver's Hiding Places Challenge. I got under the floorboards.

and

JustYourAverageRavenclaw's The It's-Been-Done-A-Million-Times Challenge AKA Song Challenge.

I got With Arms Wide Open by Creed and my prompt was Eyes.

My pairing is Remus/Tonks.

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Under the dusty floorboards laid a treasure. It wasn't grand or spectacular it was just there. This thing is a letter written by me I wished I could tell you right now and see your eyes, hopefully not shedding a single tear without me to wipe them away. I want you to be happy with our son; he is with a bit of luck going to be a wonderful person just like you.

Tonks walks into the room she knew that Remus must have put the treasure here just for her. Then she sits down on the floor and rips out a piece of floorboard, where the letter should be. She looks at it and tears start to fall. It says:

Dear My Love,

Your bubble gum hair I will miss and your ability to make me see the light. I want you to see with your eyes not your heart what I am, I am a beast and nothing more. I'm so very sorry that I couldn't be the right monster for you.

With all my love,

R.J. Lupin

Tonks looks at the letter and starts to cry even more, making it hard for her to breath. Her eyes then close and she starts to pray, that Remus would come back to her. How could life be so painfully evident that he was supposed to be alone? He hurt her and in turn hurt himself. Could I ever be the right monster for you? Could I ever be?

Tonks soon falls asleep, kneeling on the floor. Remus walks into the room and picks up his wife. Would her eyes ever be open? Would she ever come back from her sleep state and get on with her life? Would she ever know that he wasn't safe for her? Remus puts his wife under the sheets and he slips in by her.

Under the floorboards there was a letter, it was addressed to no one, but it was for her and she knew that. Floorboards clean as a whistle everything spick and span. Under the dusty floorboards laid a treasure. It wasn't grand or spectacular it was just there. The true treasure lay right beside him and her name was Nymphadora Tonks.

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Hope you all enjoyed this.


	3. Prince Charming

Hope you all enjoy this. :)

This is for AliceSpeak's **Word/Phrase of the day.** The phrase is 'This is all I've got'.

This is also for Marlicat's The A-WORD Challenge and I got 'arboreal' and

"Politeness is one half good nature and the other half good lying." -Mary Wilson Little.

Enjoy :)

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"This is all I've got, her love is my love and mine hers if you kill her than I will be nothing, you hear nothing," pleads Peter, to another Death Eater. This Death Eater is cold and harsh she or he doesn't seem to register his words but looks at the girl on the floor.

"Hmm, I will kill her unless you leave my presence and let her stay with me, you will never be able to see her again," Bellatrix shrieked at the pitiful Peter.

Peter nods and slinks off glad she was saved. _"Now that she is safe I will do my bidding later," he thought._

Bellatrix bends down next to the girl and speaks softly to her, "My dear what is your name?"

The girl looks at her warily then speaks quite clearly. "My name is Amber Pettigrew ma'am nice to meet you," said the girl.

"Ah the girl got manners, for you being his sister I thought you would be more, how should I say it, more cowardly," Bellatrix replies. "Hello Miss Amber."

"So how old are you anyway?" Bellatrix asks.

"I am 17 and my brother is 19 we are two-"

"I know math," retorts Bellatrix, looking at her. "Now go to my sister she will know what to do with you."

Amber walks over to where Narcissa is sitting. Her calm composure sends shivers down the girl's spine.

"Can I ask you a question," Narcissa replies at the sight of her.

"Yes anything ma'am," answers Amber.

Narcissa smiles and continues, "How is it that birds sing at dawn but not during the evening light?"

Amber looks at her confused. "My darling, just think about it," Narcissa replied. "You may leave."

Amber walks outside into the arboreal silence it feels like the world couldn't be more perfect on the outside but on the inside it's so cracked and damaged she doesn't know if it will ever heal. Will I ever see him? Will I ever see my prince charming, hmm?

Then before she could think about anything else James comes out of nowhere and hugs her.

"Hi Amber," he says once she is out of his embrace.

"Hi James, how did you get here?" Amber asked him.

James smiles and whispers, "I have my ways."

Amber covers her mouth to stifle the incoming fit of laughter. James grins happily.

"Well I guess I will be off," James replied. "Still have Lily to go back to."

Amber stops smiling and uncovers her mouth to reveal her frown. She forgot about Lily the two never got along well probably because she liked the same guy she did, either way Lily won in the end.

James looks at her and sighs, "I wish I could say goodbye in another way instead of this."

James attempts to hug her but Amber pushes him away. "Go back to her, because I know you will."

Before James leaves he says, "Politeness is one half good nature and the other half good lying."

Amber rolls her eyes not attempting to listen. James leaves and so does her Prince Charming.

Amber tries to feel the arboreal silence once again but every time she tries her heart cracks just that much more. The world couldn't be more perfect on the outside but on the inside it's so cracked and damaged she doesn't know if it will ever heal. Will I ever see him? Will I ever see my prince charming, hmm? She will never see her prince charming not now anyway.

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Hope you all liked it.


	4. Purple Stone

Hope you all enjoy this.

This is for three challenges.

trumparrot forever's **Movie Quotes Challenge. **I used "Hello, gorgeous."

AliceSpeak's **Word/Phrase of the day.** The phrase was 'It wasn't meant to end like this'

Bittersweet x's **Creature, Quote, Color. **I got the color purple and the qoute "I will carry this secret to the grave..unless I am offered ice cream."

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Amber is crying on the Gryffindor common room floor.

"Hello, gorgeous," said someone.

Amber looks up and smiles sadly. "It wasn't meant to end like this."

Sirius looks at her confused, "What do you mean by that."

"Sirius can you keep a secret?" Amber asks.

"I will carry this secret to the grave, unless I am offered ice cream," Sirius replies solemnly nodding his head.

Amber giggles before continuing, "I like James and now I will never be with because he is with Lily, that Lily a no good mu- girl."

Sirius smiles and sits next to girl, "You can be my girl if you want?"

Amber looks at him and smiles, "That would seem cool."

Before Sirius gets up he gives her a necklace with a purple stone in the middle. "I will always be loyal to you, remember that."

Amber looks at him as he walks outside the common room. Sirius didn't know what good he had done, by doing that it gave Amber hope and it made her want to feel again. She had just turned 12 and her birthday didn't go so well. All she could want was right in front of her and his name was Sirius Black and she was serious.

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Hope you all enjoyed this.


	5. Said More

Hope you all like this.

This is for two challenges.

AliceSpeak's Word/Phrase of the day. The word was 'Forgiveness'.

and

youcanreachthestars's **The Emotion Challenge. **My emotions were and that I used:

Revulsion, Surprise, and Eagerness

Enjoy :)

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Forgiveness was what he wanted and his eagerness to get it didn't stop him from grieving of his loss, Lily died and he was alive. How could he betray his best friend, he felt so horrible and yet there was nothing he could do to get her back.

Forgiveness was easy if the person you wanted it from was alive but she wasn't alive, and yet her son was still breathing. Then when it came to his eagerness one person made him realize something. It wasn't his eagerness that compelled him to despise the spitting image of the one he hated most; no it was out of sheer revulsion that he did so.

So as he cradled the image of a small boy losing his parents he couldn't help feel surprised at what he was thinking.

"Maybe, just maybe saving this boy will make Lily forgive me," he thought.

This man helped Harry Potter in ways seemingly brave for this cowardly man. Forgiveness gave him warmth in unexpected ways.

So when he died in Harry's seventh year no one could have said more than 'The Boy Who Lived' and man's name was Severus Snape.

Harry stood over the man and said, "Lily has forgiven you, sleep well."

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Hope you all liked this.


	6. Forbidden Surprises

Hope you all like it. Enjoy :) This is a oneshot so you know.

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The innocence in her eyes was almost gone. He held what little hope he had of being with her in the palm of his hand. So as he held her close to him all he could do was whisper, "You will be safe with me, with me forever."

She was different than all those other girls. She held herself in such a high pedestal that no one could ever get her down. She was envied for her intelligence and some students wanted to be just like her. But she wasn't even born from a witch or wizard, but did that matter oh no it didn't matter as long she was cared by him she could do anything in the world.

She looked at him and smiled, replying to his plea, "I always will." She said it more like a statement than a question.

They had to keep their relationship a secret, but how would anyone find out if every time they looked at each other, their eyes were filled with hatred. Hermione was a smart girl and he was intelligent. So what was the problem, we can't tell you yet, not now anyway.

So why should they care if they shown their love in public, it wasn't something to be ashamed of, or was it.

Hermione sat down and looked at him smiling. Her smile weak, still not to appear like her innocence was taken when she entered this school, no she was much better than that. That's what he liked about her. She was stronger than she appeared; no doubt he needed her more than she needed him.

Therefore when Christmas came she felt sad to leave their safe haven of Hogwarts. So they went to the Room of Requirement where it had a fireplace and a place for the two to sit. A wreath was hanging over the fireplace in a delightful manner. They planned on giving one another presents before they left so they wouldn't have to explain to their parents why they had presents from the other person.

Hermione looks down at her feet. "You want to go first?" she asks, nervously.

He looks at her and nods. Giving her the present he says, "There is nothing better than a present from the heart."

Hermione agreed, nodding her head. Opening her present she sees something that she was sure he knew about, there in front of her was gingerbread, all of them smiling happily.

Hermione hugs him and smiles, "Thank you for this it meant a lot to me."

He nods and kisses her softly on the cheek. "You meant a lot to me, Granger."

She then gives him her gift for him. It wasn't fancy but it was better than nothing. "There is nothing better than a present from the heart," she repeated.

He nods and kisses her once again. Hermione smiles trying to hold back her tears. Why couldn't life be a little easier? Why did she have to suffer? No longer having her innocence to blame anymore.

Her gifts, his charm and wit. Why couldn't the forbidden surprise be less forbidden. Then all they would have to do is wait and wonder. When was life going to give them a break. So as they waited for the train, they looked at each and in one moment they saw that life would give them one last surprise.

The two breathed in and they both smelled the scent of white jasmine.

"Love," whispered Hermione once they were on the train.

"I love you Granger," he says, his voice barely a whisper. With that they part ways. When Hermione sits by Ron and Harry she feel something in her pocket. Taking it out of her pocket she finds a heart locket inside there was a message.

The message said "For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are those 'It might have been.'"

Hermione starts to weep softly. They were never meant to be, her and Draco but she wished that they still could be.

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Hope you all liked it. This was for three challenges.

AliceSpeak's **Word/Phrase of the day**

I did **Tuesday 16th November **Innocence also I used

**Saturday 6th November **Scent.

Rosa Clearwater's **The Relationship Challenge. **I got forbidden love. My pairing I chose was Hermione and Draco.

AngelicKat445's The Christmas Challenge. My prompt was 'gingerbread'

I used a qoute. This is it: "For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are those 'It might have been.'"-John Greenleaf Whittier.


	7. Heartless

Hope you all like it.

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Having her in my arms makes me fearless. She gives me the energy to breathe again, to see again. The things she shows me, makes me know love and know fear. I love her though she isn't mine.

She is book smart and street smart, whatever that means. The look in her eyes when she is happy makes you want to see what she sees. When she gets sad, from her boyfriend hurting her or maybe they had a little spat, she goes to you not anyone else. You feel honored, and in the very least you think that you should receive a kiss from her, but you are too mannered to force her to do it. She will never know how much it kills you to see her kiss him, day after day even though he hurts her time after time. Not physically but mentally, which in your opinion is the worst pain of all because those wounds are harder to heal.

She walks up to you, a glint of humor in her eyes. You look at her strangely.

"What is wrong with you," you say, not sure what she wanted from you, she never came to you when she was happy it was the rule to only come to you when she was sad and no other feeling.

She smiles even wider and shows you the ring on her finger, "Look he asked to marry me and I said yes."

"Congrats," you say coldly, no real emotion behind your words, just broken strings.

"You're mad," she observes. "Why are you mad?"

You look at her like she was crazy. "You want to know," you scream at her. Then picking up her hand with the ring on it, you point at it, "That's why I'm angry. For you being a bookworm you can't even tell that I care for you. I love you Granger and now you left me heartless! Why did you do that?"

Hermione looks at you confused, "You love me, since when?"

"I loved you every since Draco and me set eyes on you in our first year. It couldn't have been more simple or complicated, but I still love you now but not your actions. So leave so then I can find a girl by myself and have a peaceful life, without you," you say, angry flaring up in your body.

"Blaise," Hermione says weakly, "please don't go, I need you."

Blaise looks at Hermione, his own eyes on the verge of tears. "Apparently you don't because then you wouldn't have chosen him over me," Blaise chokes out.

Before Hermione can beg him any more Blaise Apparates away, Hermione looks at the spot he once stood and started to cry. Her best friend was now her worst enemy. Both of them she loved but one she loved more than the other, how messed up her life was.

Draco walks up to Hermione and he hugs her. "You know you will always have me, right?" Draco whispered in her ear. "I will never hurt you, never."

For a second Hermione believed him, how could she not he was the only real thing in her life. Draco takes Hermione's hand and takes her back inside the Malfoy Manor, where they would be residing soon.

Light bounced off him when he smiled, liked that day but as he took me inside there was no trace of the multi-colored smiled. Other than Draco, she had Blaise, though he had something different that she could never have again.

Blaise can smile so wide that you never really knew what would possess him to smile to any given person like that way. He never gave anyone that smile unless they deserved it. Did she ever truly deserve that smile of his, that when she thought about it seemed like a charity than him doing it willingly.

She hurt him and Draco hurt her, mentally. The odds were very thin, but she would love to see Blaise smile one last time, just for her. Blaise would comfort her when Draco and she would fight. He would hug her and draw little circles in her back. He would hum a happy song while he was comforting her. Was it all in vain, was his actions done for nothing only to see a hopeless hope, no light at the end of the tunnel for what he wanted. He wanted her, Hermione Granger, after all these years she never knew that until she had a wedding ring around her finger.

So as she curled up beside Draco, in the den she thought long and hard. Maybe it would be better if she was with him.

"A penny for your thoughts," Draco said quietly.

At that Hermione couldn't help but chuckle and a small smile formed on her face. "Nothing dear, I was just thinking about how cruel life could actually be."

Draco nodded in understandment, he seen many people die including his own mother and father before their time, he knew pain and sometimes he dished out his pain without meaning to.

"I will always love you," he said reverently, knowing no matter how many times he said it she wouldn't quite believe him. It was too hard for her to believe him when she already knew.

Love stories were meant to end in happy endings and this was her happy ending, leaving Blaise to face his own ending. Her happy ending was her marrying Draco, having his children, and having a lavish life doing all the things she usually did. Nothing could have prepared her for his grief or anguish, but as she replayed that last meeting in her head over the years, she wished that she hadn't left him heartless never to be able to love again.

Draco took her hand to go to their son's wedding and she saw a familiar face. It was Blaise Zabini's face; he had a daughter that was friends with their son's wife so that's probably the reason why he and his wife were invited. When Blaise seen her it was only out of habit that he sent her his 100 watt smile as she walked by him. Life went well for him after all, she no longer had to feel heartless herself.

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Hope you all liked it. This was for

AliceSpeak's Word/Phrase of the day  
I used 'fearless' and 'habit'

and for

.Destiny's **'Can You Write a Dramione?' Challenge! :D.**

I got love triangle and my third person was Blaise Zabini.


	8. Still Trying to Remember

Hope you all like this. This is for two challenges.

Jg Rox's The Rival Ships Challenge! and I got Dumbledore/McGonagall. I did an implied Dumbledore/McGonagall, since the age difference is so big and scary, for me anyway.

and

AliceSpeak's Word/Phrase of the day. The words are 'flawless' and 'love'.

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"She was a great student with a flawless record," Dumbledore said. "Though her sternness always seem to ruin any party and it was sad to see that she wasn't the friendliest of all the Gryffindor students but she did survive quiet a lot of things. Though she was very different than most of the students at the school I grew quite fond of her as the years passed and she finally left Hogwarts."

Dumbledore remembers when he danced with Professor McGonagall. She was elegant and graceful, she was stern and strick. Those were the things he loved about her.

"But Professor why do you always feel the need to protect Professor McGonagall, even when Professor McGonagall doesn't need help?" Harry asks.

Dumbledore laughs. "Her flawless record of not killing any soul, that was why I protected her and also because as I said before I am very fond of her."

"Okay, so do you like her Professor," Hermione questions Dumbledore.

Dumbledore smiles, "You can say I like her but that is all."

Many years later Harry still remembers that conversation he had with Dumbledore. It was strange to listen to how much Dumbledore cared for Professor McGonagall. Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall were very close, so close in fact that you could say if they didn't have such a large difference in age they would have been lovers instead of student and teacher.

Hermione smiles sadly also remembering that one sad moment when they talked about Professor McGonagall. Dumbledore loved her and she did too, but they were never together and yet there were never apart. A love so strong that both of them wanted to stay by each other even though they couldn't stay by each other, forever and ever.

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Hope you all enjoyed this.


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